It’s also really hard to know how much your body can handle when you’re intoxicated. For this and many other reasons, you should never do BDSM play when you’re under the influence.

Creating a “contract” can be a fun way to list wants, wills and won’ts. Though aren’t legally enforceable, they can begin a scene with the sub and set limits and boundaries within the fantasy itself. [5] X Research source You also want to discuss what will happen after a session. Listen to what your partner needs from you after a session, whether that’s being held or hearing reassuring words.

Examples of safe-words and caution-words can be “stop” and “slow,” or “red” and “yellow. ” The gesture will depend on a number of things, including what body parts they can move, whether you can see their face, among other things. However, simple safe- and caution-gestures include blinking and nodding or shaking one’s head. It’s always important to have a safeword if you’re doing anything that involves restricting movement or putting pressure on the airway.

Vibrating dildos or plugs can add extra energy to your Dominatrix play.

When someone is bound, you should never leave them by themselves. Avoid positions that make breathing difficult. Make sure the ropes are comfortable and allow for circulation. There should be at least a finger’s-width of room between the rope and your partner’s skin.

Don’t keep the gag on for longer than twenty minutes, especially if someone is new to gag play.

Try a blindfold. Keeping your partner in suspense is a tool you can use as a dominatrix. They will not see what is coming next. You can choose a soft silk blindfold or a leather one depending on your style. There are plenty of options available.