If you’re uncomfortable peeing in front of your partner, this may simply mean that you close the door while you’re in the bathroom, or wait until your partner is in another part of your home.
Consider putting a radio or Bluetooth speaker in the bathroom at home. Make it a habit of turning it on whenever you go into the bathroom. The music will help distract you from the sound of your peeing and possibly prevent your partner from hearing it.
The opposite might be possible if you’re at home or at a urinal with your father/son/brother/etc. Continuing your conversation while you go to the bathroom might make the whole process seem more comfortable and ‘normal’.
If you don’t want to wait and come back later, take your time adjusting your clothes or make-up in the mirror, or washing your hands, until the washroom is empty.
You can also keep track of the public washrooms you use and always go back to your favourites. Some washrooms that are easier to use are those that have partitions all the way to the floor, or are single person washrooms.
Alternatively, wait until someone else has flushed a toilet or is running a tap to wash their hands.
Needing to have complete privacy when going to the bathroom. Being fearful that other people may hear the sound of urine hitting the water in the toilet. Being fearful that other people may be able to smell the urine. Having negative thoughts while attempting to pee (e. g. I’m such a moron, I’m never going to be able to go pee here. ). Not being able to pee in public washrooms, washrooms at other people’s homes or washrooms at work. Not being able to pee at home if someone else is visiting or waiting outside the bathroom. Being anxious at the thought of having to go to the bathroom. Not wanting to drink too much liquid for fear they’ll have to use the bathroom. Avoiding travel and events outside the home in case they have to use the bathroom.
The problem can enter a vicious circle as the fact that you are not able to pee then makes you more anxious, which makes it harder to pee, and so on. It is possible that one specific event in your past caused the problem.
An example of a physical problem that may make your paruresis is prostatitis, which can affect men.
Note that these drugs are not a cure for paruresis, so it is still helpful to obtain other types of help to eliminate the problem completely so you can eventually stop taking these medications. In very severe cases your doctor may suggest self-catheterization. This is where a catheter (a very slender tube) is inserted into the urethra and into the bladder. Urine can then drain from the bladder without the need to relax the urinary sphincter.
Check out the IPA website at http://paruresis. org.
When seeking the assistance of a psychologist, make sure you ask if they have experience treating paruresis before you start therapy.
Start by going pee in your home bathroom with your pee partner somewhat nearby. Pee for only a few seconds and then stop. Wait a few minutes and go back to the bathroom. This time have your pee partner move a little closer to you. Again, pee for a few seconds and then stop. Continue this process with your pee partner moving closer and closer to you. This process may take several sessions before you’re comfortable peeing in front of your pee partner.
By purposely making these noises you’ll start to get used to them and they’ll become less embarrassing. You’re essentially trying to desensitize yourself from these noises so you don’t think about them when you’re peeing.
Repeat the same process you used at home with your pee partner. Start by having them stand outside the door to the washroom and move gradually closer to where the toilet is. Once you become comfortable with a specific location on your list, move to the next location and repeat the process. Eventually you’ll reach the hardest location on your list and you’ll find you’re able to pee in a crowded, noisy public washroom. You may need to have a practice session 3-4 times a week in order to make the process effective. You should see excellent improvement after 12 sessions if you are consistent.
Start by holding your breath for 10 seconds and seeing how you feel. Increase the length you hold your breath by 5-10 seconds at a time. Always stop and assess how you’ve reacted to holding your breath. If you don’t feel well after holding your breath — stop — this technique may not be right for you. Try holding your breath in different locations so you get use to the technique. Once you can hold your breath for 45 seconds, try using the technique in a real bathroom situation.
Stand or sit in the bathroom as you want and breathe normally. On one of your exhales, stop exhaling about 75% of the way through so you do not empty your lungs. Hold your breath for 45 seconds. Hold your nose closed if you have to. After 45 seconds you should be able to start peeing. You may need to perform the exhale technique a second time if you stop peeing midstream.
