Talk to your friends and support system. Remember that if you keep your relationship a secret, the greater the potential problems will be when it comes to light. You have a support system to help guide you in the right direction. If you just don’t think the relationship is serious enough yet and don’t wish your parents to make a big deal of it, some of the following instructions may be excessive. Consider how your parents may feel if you exaggerated the need for secrecy; they may feel disappointed and wonder why don’t you trust them. Take risks prevention if you really go ahead. For example, think about what would you do if you are caught by your parents, think about what would you do if your parents know you are owning a separate social media account/secret cell phone that makes use to communicate with your partner, think about what would you do if your dating relationship goes wrong, think about what would you do if you broke up, etc. Consider whether these risks/consequences are affordable. It is recommended to be honest if you are getting caught. Once you get caught, more lies would only make you get into greater trouble, damaging a family relationship. As for dating relationship goes wrong or challenges comes, you will need great mental and physical quality to afford it without any support from your parents.
Your partner may have a valid argument if they have been through this situation before. For example, just because it is your first interracial relationship, it may not be the first time for your partner. They may have practical advice to help you understand where your parents are coming from and, above all else, having their support can help ease your stress. Your partner may also misunderstand the situation. Some people expect to be introduced at the start of a serious relationship, some are cool with waiting, and some do not wish to be introduced for quite some time.
Relationships with parents can be complicated. It may be difficult to be open and honest but keep your communication respectful so as not to escalate the situation. For example, while you may think that you are hiding your emotions, you actually may be coming off passive-aggressive or snarky.
Will your parents become physically or verbally abusive if they found out about your relationship? Is any aspect of your relationship conflict with your parents’ beliefs? If your parents’ disapproval is based on prejudice or if their reaction is abusive, seek professional help. Your mental and physical health is your first priority.
Know that you should be respected by your significant other and that they should listen to your choices. Compromise is vital in a relationship, but this is one area where neither party should have to compromise their beliefs. Know that if you are eager to take the relationship to another level but your partner isn’t ready, you must respect their choice. Never pressure your partner.
Stealing kisses in public and other forms of PDA may seem harmless but remember that if your parents find out, they may think that your relationship has already crossed further into the intimacy threshold. If you want to show affection towards each other, only do it in private.
Delete the messages on your phone when you sleep or leave your phone unattended. It is recommended to delete partly instead of all messages because you may get suspicious if the messaging history is blank. It is best to use Incognito mode on a browser when you are online. Otherwise, erase browsing history after you have been online. However, erasing browsing history may look suspicious if the browser history has never been erased on a shared device, but if you use Incognito mode, you don’t need to worry about this. In case your parents check your phone, either don’t put your partner’s number on your phone or use your partner’s nickname/surname instead of their actual first name. It is also possible to use the different form of their name. For example, Brian becomes Brianna and Stephanie becomes Stephen. However, it is best to memorize your partner’s contact information in your mind and don’t put any of their contact information on your phone.
Create an alternate account that you can use to be romantic with your partner. This is a handy tool when dealing with long distance relationships.
They can support you on hiding the relationship such as collaborate on stories for your parents if you’re on a date. Not only those friends can be a great cover-up for phone calls or texts, but they also act as an Intelligence Agency so that you can beat yourself to the punch to take prevention. For instance, you friends find out your parents would go to somewhere on someday, then you should take consideration before you want to meet with your partner. The another job of them is monitoring your relationship. You should acquire a political wisdom: The more voice, you make smarter decision. It is better to have more than one reliable friends so that you can listen to more than one voice if you have lots of resources to do this, even your friends could form a ‘House’. However the biggest disadvantage is the larger social group, the greater chance of secret leakage even through they are royal. If your friends has concerns about your partner or refuses to continue being your alibi, heed their advice. It’s easy to think that one source is wrong, but if multiple sources are telling you not to continue your relationship, perhaps it’s best to listen to their logic. Using them as an excuse if they don’t agree to it is unfair to your friend.
You’re going to draw attention from your parents if you suddenly lock your closet or room. You can also agree to treat each other to lunches or movies rather than giving physical gifts.
Ask your friends politely not to post any incriminating comments or pictures. It may be a wise idea not to let anyone take any pictures when you are in a group setting with your significant other.
You will have the opportunity to filter your updates and postings so that you can block your parents from seeing. However, the best way to block your parents from seeing is not to post anything damaging at all.
Change your profile name completely. Don’t use your middle name, your name spelled backward, or the name of your dog. Anything remotely close to you may end up giving you away in the long run. It’s better to exercise extreme caution.
For example, taking up boxing may work to vent frustration while listening to upbeat music in headphones may be enough to cheer you up after an argument with your partner. Only you know how to handle your emotions.
For example, if you introduce them as your coworker, you can talk about work-related issues and meetings and how you and your partner have supported one another through deadlines.
A difference in age may be more of a big deal if you are younger. Your parents may be fearful that you are growing up too soon or that an older partner is taking advantage of you. A big age gap if you’re a minor and your partner isn’t may also be illegal if you’re a minor. Take their perspective into account when continuing your relationship.
Understand that being in a teacher-pupil relationship can get the teacher fired and, depending on your age, even jailed. This is one relationship that is better to be put on hold - for both of you. If you truly love each other, you can wait until both of you can legally date, and you have graduated.
You don’t need to put a time limit, but it can be expected that your partner may give you an ultimatum. No one wants to be in a relationship that their partner is ashamed to be in. Be prepared to choose between telling your parents or losing your partner.
Hiding your relationship should not be permanent. It may take time for your parents to realize that only you know what’s best for you. If it means losing your parents, that is for them to decide. Being true to yourself is what’s most important for your mental, emotional and physical health.
