If you’re not sure that what you’re saying is true, or if there’s a chance your listener will know you’ve made an error, they won’t be easily convinced. To encourage your friend to go to the party, make sure you know exactly who else is going. This way, you can confidently say “Well, Kendra, Liam, and Chantel are going. They think it’ll be fun!”
Continuing the previous example, beyond just knowing who’s going to the party, you’ll need to find out who isn’t going and why. When your friend comes back with a counterargument (“Yeah but Rick isn’t going so it’s not the whole group”) you can assert your defense with proof (“Rick is heading out of town, but he said he’d much rather be at the party. ”) If you want to get a dog but your parents are worried about you being too busy to take care of it, be ready to explain how you’ll fit morning walks and daily feeding into your schedule.
If you have a skeptical boss who likes to feel like the hero, don’t rush in with an ultra-confident approach. Your boss will instantly dismiss your proposal. Instead, present the case as if you need your boss’ wisdom and advice. Make it seem like it’s their idea, and they’ll likely end up in support of your project. [3] X Research source If you’re trying to get a teacher to extend your project’s deadline, and you know she’s a big supporter of your school sports team, frame your request as a conflict that she could solve: “So I’ve been working really hard on this report but this week has been full of practices for the big game tomorrow. . . ” This way, she might offer you an extension without you having to directly ask!
If you’re trying to convince your parents to get a family pet, talk about how you’ve been doing a great job pet-sitting for a neighbor and you know all about pet care. If you’re convincing a teacher to let you take an advanced class, mention your previous good grades as evidence that you can handle the challenge. If you’re trying to get a job, tell the interviewer about degrees, achievements, and awards that make you an expert in your industry.
If you’re trying to sell a product to a customer who’s a photographer, list off camera specs with confidence. They’ll feel like you understand their line of work and may be open to hearing your pitch. If you’re speaking to your parents about getting your first credit card, don’t shy away from financial jargon. Instead, work terms like “credit score” and “billing cycle” into the conversation to show that you know what you’re talking about. Say you’re trying to convince a classmate to let you practice guitar with their band after school. If they consider their group a “band,” don’t call it a “club. ” You’ll sound like you don’t respect what they’re doing and they might not let you hang around.
If you’re trying to get your family to let you get a part-time job while you’re still in school, make sure you’re well groomed and nicely dressed when you strike up the conversation. Don’t make the request while you’re in sloppy sweatpants; you won’t look responsible enough to start working. If you’re submitting a big research paper to a professor, make sure it looks crisp and professional. Don’t allow sloppy formatting or wrinkled pages to distract from the quality of your writing. To get your parents to sign you up for gymnastics class, put on a leotard and start doing cartwheels around the living room. You’ll look like you need an outlet for your skills and energy.
Nerves and uncertainty can ruin your ability to be persuasive. If you don’t have confidence in yourself, your listener won’t have confidence in you either. Listeners tend to assume a confident communicator is correct and trustworthy. [9] X Research source So if you show and tell your significant other that you’re confident about how safe skydiving is, they’ll start to believe you.
Inclusive language is much more effective than language that sets the persuader apart from their listener. It encourages your listener to view you as a single group unit with similar interests, rather than two separate entities. Rather than telling your group project teammates, “I saw a mistake on the poster. You should fix it,” try saying, “Let’s fix that mistake on the poster” as you hand them the poster and the white-out.
If you’re arguing for a decision that will help improve a situation, illustrate how dire the situation is right now. Finish your story with 2 possible endings, 1 “bad” ending that doesn’t include your solution and 1 “good” ending that does. For example, a sad story about how dark and gloomy your dorm room is and how you can’t focus on your homework might encourage your guardian to buy you an expensive floor lamp. The “bad” ending would be failing grades; the “good” ending would be reaching the top of the class.
While managing and presenting certain emotions is a persuasive strategy, don’t let it become manipulative or disingenuous. Be as authentic as possible and try to only express emotions you truly feel. If your dad isn’t enthusiastic about letting you go to a new friend’s sleepover party, say something about how not going could make you lonely at school: “I’m just starting to make friends with this group, and I really don’t want to miss the chance to get to know them better. Otherwise I won’t really have any good friends in my class this year. ” Sprinkle rhetorical questions into your persuasive rant to get your listener nodding along or shaking their head. Try phrases like “Can’t we put an end to this once and for all?” (Yes!) or “Can you believe how horrible the current situation is?” (No!).
Lure your listener with flattering compliments to make them feel good about following your lead. Make irresistible offers they won’t be able to refuse, based on their values or vanity. If you’re trying to get your sister to pick out a different party dress so you can borrow it later, tell her how gorgeous and radiant she looks in the blue sparkly one. If you want your friend to buy a certain video game so you can play it together, gush about how amazing and unbeatable he is at that type of game.
You could open up your argument with 2 questions like this: “1,500 children attend this school, right?” (Yes, this is a basic fact. ) “Do we agree that the lack of after-school support is a problem for these students and our community?” (Yes, this is the topic of the conversation. ) Your listener will be nodding along in no time. With this momentum, they’ll be more likely to get on board with your more complex arguments later on.
Try generating a spreadsheet to show your boss just how profitable your idea will be or quoting a recent study that addresses your topic. Pull up a quote for the internet plan you want your roommates to agree to and show them just how affordable to rates are for the service you’d be receiving. If you place facts and figures right in front of your listener that shows how logical your case is, they’ll find it a lot harder to argue against you.
Here’s how you could use inductive reasoning to prove your point to your parents: “Universities are all encouraging students to study abroad. Look at this brochure our college sent out about the benefits of travel and studying abroad. I think taking that study trip to the Andes would really expand my worldview. ” One logical fallacy to avoid is known as post hoc ergo propter hoc. This involves making an incorrect assumption based on the order of events. For instance, you’d be wrong to argue that the library caused your headache because you went to the library and then developed a headache. Another fallacy is the slippery slope. This is where you’d say describe a chain of events where the first point seems to lead to the final point. For example: “If you let me stay home from school tomorrow, I’ll be able to practice with the band so we can become rich and famous rockstars. ” This implies that staying home will bring you fame and fortune, which isn’t logical or very convincing.
If you’re trying to sell someone a couch, chat them up when they’re looking at couches, not when they’re in the refrigerator aisle. Pay attention to their behaviors and adapt accordingly. If they’re spending a lot of time looking at different couches, and they’ve told you they want to buy something this weekend, stick by their side to offer your expertise. If your prospective customer said they don’t want to buy a couch until next September, don’t harass them as they’re walking past toward the exit.
If your listener only has a few moments to think about the decision, they’ll have less time to explore and listen to their opposing instincts. [21] X Research source Include calls-to-action like “act now” or “limited time only” in your pitch to get the results you’re looking for.
A strategy like this will not only help your listener connect with you since they feel understood, but it will boost your credibility since you’ll appear to know your subject inside and out. This is a powerful approach that combines pathos, ethos, and logos all in one. If you want to go out with friends even when you have a lot of homework, rather than waiting for your dad to say “But what about your homework?” say something like “Ok, I know you’re probably wondering about all the homework I have. But I actually have a plan to do chemistry and English tonight before dinner and study for my history exam during my study hour tomorrow morning. ” He’ll be impressed with how well you’ve thought it all out.
Negative energy and frantic yelling aren’t persuasive; this behavior will undermine your authority. [23] X Research source
In conversation, pause to allow someone who agreement with you to articulate their own affirmative viewpoints. Don’t allow someone who disagrees with you to seize control of the conversation. If you move and speak quickly, a disagreeing listener won’t have much time to process their own counterarguments. They’ll get swept away in what you’re saying and may be overwhelmed into agreeing.
Held breathes indicate anticipation while a sharp gasp usually indicated surprise. Squinted eyes indicate doubt or displeasure, as do crossed arms and a cocked head. Upright posture with a forward lean indicates interest.
