Positive emotions can also slow progression toward disease. This happens because positive emotions shorten the duration of negative emotional arousal. [3] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
People who experience positive emotions during bereavement tend to develop healthy long-term plans. Having goals and plans may result in an overall better sense of well-being about a year after bereavement. In an experiment on emotional resilience and stress responses, participants were given a stressful task to complete. The results showed that all participants were anxious about the task, regardless of how naturally resilient they were. But the more resilient participants returned to a calmer state more quickly than the participants who were not as resilient.
Make a list of things you enjoy doing or things you’re good at. Try to do some of these things regularly. This will build up your reserve of positive experiences.
At first, it might seem strange or awkward to write self-reflections. But with time and practice, you’ll recognize some behavior and emotional patterns in your writing. This will help you target areas that may be blocking you from your goals.
For example, recall your morning routine, and spend time noticing the moments you felt peaceful or happy. This might include a beautiful view along your morning commute, or the pleasure of your first sip of coffee, or an enjoyable conversation you had. Take special time to focus on moments where you felt proud of yourself or grateful to someone else. These can be small things, such as gratitude for your partner making the bed. You might also take pride in the way you accomplished a task or completed a challenge you set for yourself. You may find it helpful to start your reflections with the positive moments of your day. Re-experiencing positive emotions can help you adjust your perspective on the negative moments.
For example, if you experienced road rage on your drive home, reframe the other driver’s intentions as making an honest mistake. If you felt embarrassed about something that happened during the day, think about how it was actually a silly or laughable situation. Even if your boss was upset about having coffee spilled on him, mistakes happen from time to time. With any luck, maybe your boss will see the humor in it also. If you don’t treat smaller mistakes as life-altering experiences, you will be able to handle situations better. One way to handle the coffee situation is to express your genuine concern that your boss is first and foremost okay and that you didn’t burn him. Next, you can offer to go buy him another shirt on your lunch hour, or offer to dry-clean the stained one.
Don’t worry if you feel you’re having trouble building positive emotional experiences. You can also use the memories you already have to build your “happiness reserves. ”
For example, perhaps your inner critic called you a dummy for spilling coffee on your boss. Your inner critic puts you down all the time and is nasty to you. Reflect on the times your inner critic says things like this. You will gain more insight into the times and situations when your inner critic comes out. Also, you can start to challenge the inner critic and other negative ways of thinking. This is an important part of building a positive attitude.
If music makes you happy, listen to music. If reading books makes you happy, take a little time to read in a calm environment. Go look at a beautiful view, take yourself to a museum, or watch a movie that you enjoy. Stay active doing the things that bring you pleasure. This is a great way to focus on the positive.
If you’re good at cooking, admit to yourself that you’re a talented cook. Likewise, you don’t need to be able to charm woodland creatures in order to enjoy singing. Observing moments of satisfaction, pride, contentment or joy in your life and the activities that cause them is a good way to make sure you can repeat them again in the future.
For example, if you have a negative interaction with a casual acquaintance, don’t assume that they don’t like you. Rather, assume that there was a miscommunication between the two of you, or that something else is frustrating your acquaintance.
Research demonstrates that your mood can immediately improve after having a conversation with someone you care about and you receive a supportive response from them. [12] X Research source
For example, if you have a daunting to-do list, rather than looking at your list and saying, “There’s no way I can get all of this done,” try saying, “I can accomplish most of this. ”
For instance, if you are having trouble getting a team of coworkers to work well together, sit down first and analyze the situation. Identify the types of situations going on. Then brainstorm and write down possible solutions for these problems. For example, Jeff doesn’t like Sally, and your employer doesn’t encourage teamwork and instead rewards the efforts of the individual. Using problem-focused coping, you should assert that, while Jeff and Sally are allowed to not like each other, a standard of professional conduct is expected and reinforce those standards. Then do a group exercise where everyone says three positive things about each other. In connecting team members and completing projects with resounding success, your team can serve as an example to help change the culture in your company.
Remember that when you practice putting a positive spin on a negative situation, you will be able to do it more easily and naturally. In turn, you will find it easier to put positive spins on negative situations, making your whole life happier and more enjoyable.
