As a child, did I feel listened to or was I harshly criticized? Was I spoken to respectfully or was I ignored, criticized, or teased? Did I get appropriate attention and affection or was I neglected? Was I physically, verbally, or sexually abused? Were my accomplishments recognized? Were my shortcomings and failures accepted or was I berated? Was I always expected to be perfect?
The inner voice is not actually a voice that you hear with your ears. Instead, it is the collection of thoughts that you experience. These thoughts are often so deeply embedded in the subconscious that you may not even recognize them when they occur. Instead you’ll probably just experience a change in mood. Your inner voice is either affirming or self-defeating. [3] X Research source People with healthy self-esteem usually experience an accepting and reassuring inner voice. However, people with low self-esteem generally experience a harsh, punitive, and critical inner voice. Journaling can be tough for some people, especially if you write about past traumas that you have not fully processed. If you find that journaling is upsetting you or causing you difficulty handling everyday life for the day or week after attempting to journal, talk with a counselor who can help you journal productively while keeping you healthy.
Automatic thoughts originate in the subconscious so sometimes they are difficult to pinpoint. You can start by asking yourself “What made me feel this way. ” Then dig deeper by asking yourself probing questions like “What does that say about me?” “Why did that make me feel that way?” The first few answers are often superficial responses. Keep asking yourself “What else?” until you are able to probe into the deeper automatic thoughts. For example, if a co-worker said something that made you angry, you may initially write down “Andrea said that what I did was incorrect. ” “That made me angry. ” “She tried to make me look like I was incompetent. ” And after asking yourself several times “What else?” you may eventually pinpoint a thought that you didn’t realize was there, such as “I’m not as good at this as everyone else. ”
All-or-none thinking occurs when a person thinks that one misstep makes his or her or the situation a failure. For example, if you make one error at work you may think that you’re a failure at your job. Disqualifying the positive is when a person only focuses on what he or she has done wrong and ignores or forgets about all of the good that he or she has done. For example, a person may focus on getting one problem wrong on a test when he or she has gotten all of the other questions right. Jumping to conclusions is when a person makes a judgment without having all of the facts. For instance, you may see your best friend running in a direction away from you in a parking lot. You may assume that your friend is trying to avoid you. However, your friend may have been late for an appointment and did not notice you. Labeling happens when a person applies a label to his or herself (or someone else) rather than acknowledging the action or behavior. For example, instead of thinking, “I could have handled that differently” you may think, “I’m a bad person. ”
The Victim: This person acts like he or she is helpless and waits for others to come to the rescue. He or she tends to use self-pity or indifference to masque underlying fears of failure. He or she tends to be unassertive, may be an underachiever, and excessively relies on others for reassurance. The Imposter: This person acts as if he or she is happy and all is well when really petrified of failure. This person needs to always be successful in order to be happy, often leading to perfectionism, competition, and burnout. The Rebel: This person tries to downplay others, particularly people of authority. He or she lives in constant anger about not being good enough and tends to focus on not being hurt by the criticism of others. This can lead to blaming other people for his or her problems and he or she may frequently oppose authority.
Keep in mind that these “Big Five” traits are not personality types but dimensions of personality. For example, someone may be high in “Agreeableness” (friendliness) but low on “Extraversion” (sociability. ) This person is probably not very social, but he or she is in fact quite friendly. The “Emotional Stability” dimension is also sometimes referred to as the “Neuroticism” trait. Neuroticism is on the other end of the Emotional Stability-Neuroticism spectrum. Similarly, Sometimes the “Openness to Experience” dimension is referred to as “Intellect. ” The terms are interchangeable.
Extroversion reflects a keen interest in other people and external events. Highly extroverted people tend to be very confident and have no problem exploring uncharted territories. People who are low in extroversion are often referred to as “introverts” and tend to prefer solace and quiet environments. Neuroticism reflects anxiety level. People who are high in this dimension tend to experience negative emotions stronger than their counterparts. If you find yourself worrying and freaking out a lot, then you may want to rate yourself as high in this area. Openness to Experience indicates a person’s willingness to adjust their thinking when new information arises. If you are high in this area then you are probably unconventional and “free spirited. ” If you are low on this dimension, then you are probably more conventional and concrete with your thinking patterns. Conscientiousness refers to how much a person considers other people when making decisions. It also reflects one’s level of self-control. If you are high on this dimension then you are probably disciplined, well organized, and function well with autonomy. If you are low in this area then you are probably quicker to follow your impulses and do well in environments that are fluid and constantly changing. Agreeableness indicates the degree to which a person is compatible with other people. It also reflects how much a person cares about others. If you are high in this area then you are probably quite empathetic and can quickly and easily understand other people. You are probably often described as “nice” and “tender hearted. ” If you are low in this area then you put less emphasis on emotions when determining how to behave. There is generally a gender difference on this trait with women generally being higher and men generally being lower.
People can be high or low in each dimension. However, 45 different personality combinations emerge when all of the different possible combinations are combined.
Reviewing your emails is a good way to remember some of the things that you accomplished earlier in the year that you may otherwise forget to include. If there is a place where your work is documented on a regular basis, such as a log or computer data entry system, you may be able to jog your memory by reviewing that documentation. Ask yourself questions to help with your self-reflection. For example, you could ask “Did my efforts further the company’s mission?” or “In what ways did I take on leadership roles?”
Identify the (S)ituation: Briefly describe a situation when you felt very proud of your job performance. Describe the (T)ask that was at hand regarding this situation. What is it that you had to do? Describe the (A)ction that you took in order to complete the task. Highlight the (R)esults that was achieved through your action.
Although you are using this opportunity to do some self-reflection, reviewing your supervisor’s feedback from recent performance evaluations could help you to get some honest feedback on your performance.
What values do you find very important? Kindness? Honesty? Success? Family time? Does your behavior conflict with these values? For instance, let’s say that you value family time. Do you find yourself spending enough time with your family or are you prevented from doing so by other things? Do your job, relationships, friendships, or other areas of your life conflict with these values? For instance, let’s consider the same example above. Is your job preventing you from spending time with your family?
Finances: Do you have enough money to cover your basic needs such as housing, food, clothing, and transportation? Family: Are their issues with your spouse or children or are you a caregiver to an elderly family member? Health: How is your health and the health of your loved ones?
Thinking and learning slows down Accidents increase Health challenges, including elevated risk of diabetes and increased risk of death Increased depression and forgetfulness Lower libido Premature aging and weight gain Impaired judgment
People go to therapy for a variety of reasons, from past traumas to wanting to learn to cope with everyday life. There is no “bad” reason to seek counseling, and it’s a sign of strength and self-care to seek help when you could benefit from it. [20] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source A therapist also provides a safe, welcoming space for you to explore your own thoughts and feelings in. She will not judge you or make you feel silly for having thoughts. This type of environment can be very productive for self-discovery.
CBT has been demonstrated as a helpful treatment for a range of conditions, including anxiety, depression, and sleep disorders. Even people with chronic pain may be helped by CBT.
CBT is a very common treatment for people with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Other types of treatment include exposure therapy, where you learn to overcome the trauma by talking about it repeatedly, and eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy, where you focus on bodily stimuli as you think or talk about your traumatic memories. [22] X Research source
Psychiatrists are medical doctors. They can diagnose conditions, prescribe medication, and offer therapy. Because of their specialized and extensive training, they are often rather expensive to see, but they are excellent for people who may have more severe disorders. Psychologists have doctorate degrees in Psychology, such as Ph. D. or Psy. D. In some states, they can prescribe medication, but most cannot. They can diagnose conditions and offer therapy. Licensed clinical social workers (LCSWs) have a master’s degree in Social Work and have had extensive clinical experience to earn their license. They can offer therapy and a variety of other services that connect you with community resources. Psychiatric nurses are registered nurses (R. N. s) with specialized training in psychiatry and therapy. They can usually prescribe medications and can offer therapy. Marriage and Family therapists (MFTs) have a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy. They have training and clinical experience in offering therapy, but cannot prescribe medications. Licensed Professional Counselors (LPCs) have a master’s degree in a professional counseling field. They have training and clinical experience in offering therapy, but cannot prescribe medications. LPCs tend to have a wide range of counseling areas, such as career counseling, in addition to mental health counseling.
