It’s important to breathe because it can help you calm down. [2] X Expert Source Dr. Niall Geoghegan, PsyDClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 24 July 2019. Trying to observe what’s going on can help you name what’s happening to you. That will help in the next step.
Try practicing your stance in front of the mirror. Stare yourself down!
For instance, you could say, “I want you to stop throwing paper at me. I know you think it’s funny, but I don’t. So stop. " Alternatively, you could say something like “I can see you laughing at me. I want you to stop. "
It can also help to try to blow off the bully with humor. Responding with humor takes the wind out of his sails. [6] X Research source For instance, if someone is throwing paper balls at you throughout class, you could say, “What, is your aim so bad that you can’t hit the trash can?”
For example, enter a classroom with people in it. [8] X Research source Another option is ducking into a room that has an adult in it. [9] X Research source
Because some schools may define bullying as something that occurs multiple times, it can help to have the details. [10] X Research source
For instance, on your phone, you can likely block incoming messages and calls from a particular person. [12] X Research source On websites like Facebook, try unfriending and/or blocking the person completely. [13] X Research source YouTube and other social media sites give you the option to disable comments on your posts and videos. Consider disabling comments if your bully is contacting you this way. [14] X Expert Source Dr. Niall Geoghegan, PsyDClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 24 July 2019.
It’s always good to talk to an adult. However, it’s especially important if the bully has already gotten physical with you or you think the person might be violent towards you in the future. [21] X Research source
For example, an adult may be able to assist you in finding ways to not be alone in the hallways. [23] X Research source
Stay away from places you know will be empty. For instance, if you know the gym is usually empty after school, try going to the library instead.
Try talking to someone in your classes or in a club you’re in. You can use what you’re doing to start a conversation. For instance, you could say, “Hi, I’m Kay. This problem we’re doing is really hard, don’t you think?"[26] X Research source Make a habit of talking to the same people. Over time, you’ll get to know that person more. For instance, if you see the person in the cafeteria, ask if you can sit with him or her. You could say, “Hey, we’re in math together. We were talking about that awful problem the other day. Do you mind if I sit with you?” One way to get to know a person is to get them talking about themselves. The best way to do that is to ask questions. You can ask about what they like or what their family is like. You could ask what their favorite subject is or what they like to do for fun. [27] X Research source Don’t forget to be nice to the person. Doing nice things for people makes them like you more. For instance, offer your notes if the person misses a class, or help someone understand their homework if they’re struggling. [28] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
Ask your parents to appeal to the school board to let you go to another school in the district. Going to a new school can give you a fresh start. You might also be able to transfer to a charter school, though it may be difficult in the middle of the year. Ask your parents to help you look for options.
For instance, you could say, “Hey, leave that kid alone. What did he ever do to you?”
If you just watch and laugh, you are contributing, as you are providing an audience for the bully. [31] X Trustworthy Source StopBullying. gov Website run by the U. S. Department of Health and Human Services providing information related to identifying and preventing bullying Go to source Even just standing and watching without laughing can encourage the bully, as you are giving the person an audience. [32] X Trustworthy Source StopBullying. gov Website run by the U. S. Department of Health and Human Services providing information related to identifying and preventing bullying Go to source That doesn’t mean you should just walk away. If you’re not willing to step in, move on to the next step.
Try a power pose. Some research has shown that just acting confident can build confidence. Generally, a power pose involves making yourself larger, more spread out. For instance, putting your hands on your hips and spreading your legs apart is a power pose. Don’t forget to hold your head high! Try holding a pose that makes you feel stronger for 2 minutes. Master new skills. Another way to help build your confidence is to take on new skills. As you become better at the skill, it can boost your confidence. [35] X Research source Exercise or play sport. Exercising can make you feel strong and confident. You should be getting exercise anyway, so it’s a win-win. Martial arts may be a good choice, in case you need to defend yourself. [36] X Research source
Being assertive means being able to talk to others to express what you want without being mean. For instance, instead of saying, “Why do you give me all the bad jobs?” you could say, “Would it be possible for me to clean the dry erase boards next week?"[38] X Research source Communicating well means you offer leading ideas, ask questions nicely, and offer support when possible. For instance, when a friend does a good job, you say, “You were awesome! Great job!"[39] X Research source
Pay attention. The first step towards being empathetic is to notice other people. Watch other kids’ faces to see how they are feeling. You can usually tell if someone is upset if you’re looking at them. They may frown, have watery eyes, or turn red in the face. [41] X Research source Talk to the other person. If you see someone looking down, ask how he or she is doing. You could say, “Hey, what’s wrong? You don’t look so good. " Listen to his or her response. Even if you don’t feel what the other person is feeling, it’s important to express sympathy for what the person is going through. That just means you respond to what he or she told you in a nice way. For instance, if the person said, “I’m having a bad day. My dog is sick. " You could say, “Oh, that’s awful. I’d hate that if it were my dog. You must be really sad. “[42] X Research source
In addition, it can make the bully want to fight back harder, which only hurts you. [44] X Research source Also, if you do try to retaliate, you could find yourself taking part of the blame, even though the bully struck first. [45] X Research source
