Try listening to music that pumps you up; this will help you endure when your workout gets tough. Remember to stay within your physical limits.
You may find that your friend or significant other is going through the same problems as you, and it can help to not feel like you are the only one dealing with the issues making you angry.
Breathe in for a count of four, hold for a count of four, and exhale for a count of four. Make sure you are breathing with your diaphragm rather than with your chest. When you breathe with your diaphragm, your belly extends out (you can feel it with your hand). Do this as many times as necessary until you start feeling calmer.
If you, e. g. , in class and you are very angry but are not allowed to leave, try pulling your teacher aside and asking her to use the washroom. If she won’t allow you to, try calmly explaining to her that you are angry about something and would appreciate a couple minutes away from the situation to calm down. If you absolutely cannot leave the situation, try to remove yourself from it through your imagination. Imagine you are on a vacation to your favourite place in the world. Try your best to picture all the sights, sounds, and smells to make your vision more vivid.
It might feel a bit silly at first, but counting really can distract your long enough to calm down.
If you take her perspective you might realize that sometimes people make mistakes, just as you do, or you may realize that she didn’t have mean intentions, either of which can reduce your own anger.
For example, if you get a flat tire on the way to school, it’s annoying and inconvenient. Out of control anger might lead you to these thoughts: “I can’t believe my stupid tire went flat! Now my entire week is ruined. Everything at school is going to be horrible. ” We can change these thoughts by challenging them. Life usually doesn’t meet extreme conditions, such as always and never. You got a flat tire. Things like this happen in life, and things happen that you can’t control. There could have been glass in the road or sharp rocks to cause the flat tire. Use your reasoning before your body gets out of control. Before anger takes over your mind, you can “talk yourself down. ” Challenge your thoughts by asking, “how will my whole week really be ruined by this flat tire?” “Do I still have good things to look forward to, despite this inconvenience?” “Last time something bad happened, did I get over it eventually?”
You might have to accept the fact that at this time, there isn’t a solution to the problem. You may not be able to control the problem, but you can control how you react towards it. For example, you might be angry with your parents because they won’t let you attend a concert with your friends. You can still be angry, but it is also productive to talk with your parents calmly to figure out a solution. You might say to yourself: ”I am going to take a few minutes to myself. I’m going go to my room and play my favorite song, and breathe deeply to calm down. ” “I want my parents to treat me like an adult. I am not yet an adult, but I feel I can handle myself. I need to calm down and get my brain clear. My body is in the middle of this stress reaction and my head isn’t thinking clearly. ” ”As I am deep breathing, I am thinking of ways to talk with my parents. I will ask them to tell me their reasons for saying no. I will talk calmly about why I want to go. ” ”If they still won’t let me go, I will suggest a compromise. I will ask if one of them wants to drop me off and pick me up. Even if they still say no, they will see that I am reacting like an adult and they will see that I am becoming more mature. Maybe that will help the next time I want to go to a concert. ”
Try looking at pictures of different faces to see if you can “read” emotions. Even looking through a magazine or a photo album can be helpful. Search online for “reading emotions” to find examples of faces that you can test yourself with. For example, the DNA Learning Center has some tools to learn how to read faces.
Try saying, “Did I say something wrong?” or “Are we okay?” This will give both of you a chance to check in with your feelings before you get into an argument.
If you feel like you need to punch or hit, rather than hitting a person, hit an object, like a pillow.
“I was hurt and angry because it seems like you were belittling my project when you laughed during my presentation. I don’t know what was going on, but it seems like you weren’t paying attention or taking my hard work seriously. I could have just misunderstood what was going on. Can we talk and work this out?”
“When you have the time, could you…” “It would be a great help if you… Thanks, I appreciate it!”
For example, you could say: “It seems to me that you are not being sensitive to my feelings when you read your paper instead of listening to what I’m trying to say. ”
“Would you please lower the volume of your voice on the telephone? It’s making it very difficult for me to concentrate on my work. I’d really appreciate it. Thanks. ” By saying this, you are directly addressing the other person. You are making it clear what you need and letting him know why it is a problem for you.
Keeping track of this information will help you learn what triggers your anger. Then you can avoid those situations when possible, or take steps to reduce your anger in situations that are unavoidable. When you record in your journal, you can make the following observations: What provoked the anger? What thoughts occurred as you got angry?
Not being able to control other’s actions. Other people disappointing you for not meeting your expectations. Not being able to control daily life events. Someone trying to manipulate you. Getting mad at yourself for a mistake.
Your therapist will most likely use relaxation techniques to help you calm down in the middle of an anger episode. Your therapist will also help you deal with the thoughts that can trigger anger and find new ways to view your situations. You can see a therapist on your own or with your family. Think about what you would feel most comfortable with. Talk with your parents or a trusted adult about your interest in trying therapy. [18] X Research source Therapists will also help you with emotional coping skills and assertiveness communication training. Some psychotherapists specialize in helping clients work through their personal history, such as overcoming an abusive or neglectful childhood, or overcoming a tragic event. These therapists can be helpful in dealing with anger from past events.
There are anger management programs specifically geared towards children, teens and families. Search online to find one in your area.
For example, if the anger is occurring with depression, antidepressants can treat depression symptoms as well as anger. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) like Lexapro or Zoloft might be used to treat generalized anxiety disorder. These drugs can also help relieve irritability you may experience as part of your anxiety. Each drug has side effects. For example, lithium, which is used to treat bipolar disorder, has a very high rate of renal (kidney) complications. Being aware of the possible side effects will help you monitor for complications. It’s very important to discuss these possibilities openly with your doctor. There is a small possibility that teens may experience suicidal thoughts when taking selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), especially in the first 4 weeks of treatment. SSRIs are commonly used for treating depression and anxiety.
Anger can interfere with your job, your relationships with the ones you love, and your social life. You might even get incarcerated if you assault another person. [21] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source
Physical difficulties: These might include an aching back or head, high blood pressure, sleeplessness, indigestion, skin disorders, or irritable bowel syndrome. Anger and hostility also put people at higher risk for heart disease. [23] X Research source Anger and hostility are better predictors of heart disease, even over other factors such as smoking and obesity. Mental health issues: Anger can contribute to an increased likelihood of depression, anorexia or bulimia, alcohol or drug addiction, self-harming (cutting), low self-worth, and quickly cycling mood states (happy one minute, unhappy the next). Your anger won’t necessarily cause these issues, but it can contribute to them. Irritability, which is on the spectrum of anger-related feelings, is a symptom of generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). The connection between anger and GAD is not fully understood. But some experts think that when people have GAD, they tend to be passive in their way of dealing with anger (for example, having anger but not showing it). [24] X Research source Immune system difficulties: Anger constantly bombards the immune system, since the body’s stress response shuts down our immune system. Illnesses such as colds and flus are higher for people who have higher levels of anger. [25] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source
Verbal bullying: teasing, name-calling, inappropriate comments, taunting. Social bullying: leaving someone out, spreading rumors, embarrassing someone in public. Physical bullying: hitting, punching, spitting, tripping, taking someone’s things, breaking someone’s things.
If you can, excuse yourself and go to the bathroom, a stairwell, or outside. Having a quiet, private space will help you feel more comfortable. Breathe in for a count of four, hold for a count of four, and exhale for a count of four. Make sure you are breathing with your diaphragm rather than with your chest. When you breathe with your diaphragm, your belly extends out (you can feel it with your hand). Do this as many times as necessary until you start feeling calmer. Combine breathing with visualization tasks. A simple way to do this is when you breathe in, envision a golden-white light that relaxes you and makes you feel happy. Envision this white light spreading into your lungs and throughout your entire body. When you breathe out, breathe out muddy, dark colors which represent your angry, stressed out feelings. If you feel like you have trouble meditating, don’t worry. Meditation is a combination of deep breathing exercises, visualization, and performing mental tasks. If it’s difficult for you to sit long enough to meditate or if you feel uncomfortable meditating, you can just begin with simply deep breathing. This way, you can initiate your body’s calming response.
Start with a few deep breaths: breathe in for a count of four, hold for four, exhale for four. Work your way from the top of your head to your feet. First, tighten the muscles in your face, head, mouth, and neck. Hold for twenty seconds, and then release. Then work your way down the body, tensing and releasing your shoulders, arms, back, hands, stomach, legs, feet, and toes. Now wiggle your toes around, feeling the relaxation from your toes to your head. Take a few more deep breaths, and enjoy the feeling of relaxation.
Drink plenty of water so that you don’t get dehydrated.
Switch off computer and phone screens about 15 to 30 minutes before you go to bed. These devices engage your brain, activating your cognitive functions and keeping you awake. [32] X Research source
