Is your boyfriend a bad influence, or involved in gangs/drugs, or very controlling or cruel to others? Your parents may just be concerned about you spending time with someone that they don’t trust. Consider any religious or cultural differences that might be driving your parents’ decision. It may not be fair of them to impose their beliefs and values onto you, but it may be hard to go completely against the grain until you’re supporting yourself.
Tell your friends that your boyfriend is a secret. Ask them explicitly not to tell anyone, and make it very clear that you’re serious.
If you’re texting constantly, talking on the phone more often than before, or spending a lot of time on social media, your parents might start to wonder who you’re always talking to. Be more discreet, or be ready with a good excuse! If you’re staying out late at night, or even coming home late from school, your parents might notice.
Don’t use the name of a friend that your parents know; ideally, pick someone that doesn’t have a phone. Do this in case (for instance) you leave your phone in the dining room and you get a call from your boyfriend. Instead of your parents seeing “Blake Grant” they’ll see, say, “Bella Grey. " If your parents are in the same room as you, try to keep a blank expression on your face so they don’t catch on that you’re talking to your boyfriend. Make them think you’re talking to a regular friend. If you video chat him, make sure you do it when your parents aren’t around. They may see you virtually kissing him.
For example, slipping the word “hungry” into your conversation might mean that you want to meet your boyfriend to get food. The word “homework” might mean that you can’t get out to meet him tonight. Try devising a numerical code that signifies when you plan to meet your boyfriend. For example, pretend that you’re talking to your friend about your math homework. Use the “problem number” to tell your boyfriend that you want to meet at a certain time. If you want to meet up at 10 pm, say, “Did you do the math homework yet? I’m having trouble with problem number 10. "
If your parents ask why you’re deleting conversations, just say that you’re trying to conserve memory. Tell them that you have a lot of photos, apps, or music, and you’re trying to free up space by deleting unnecessary chat records. Got a message that you really want to keep? Screenshot it and back it up elsewhere: a computer, a flash drive, or even a private album of pictures on Facebook.
If you live in a city, you could meet almost anywhere: a big city park, a free museum, a scenic hill, or a little cafe in your favorite neighborhood. The same goes for the suburbs, although it might be harder to get around if you and your boyfriend don’t have your own cars. If you live in a rural area, you might need to meet up outdoors. Don’t hang out with your boyfriend in the park across the street from your house, or the local supermarket, or anywhere that your parents or their friends might run into you.
Tell your friend about your plan. If possible if you are completely certain that you can trust your friend’s parents have your friend’s parents agree to pretend that you’re sleeping over. It helps if you name a friend whose house you’ve slept over at many times before. If your parents are suspicious, they might call your friend’s parents to check out your story. Consider whether this is likely to happen. If so, then you may not want to risk it.
If you sneak your boyfriend into your house while your parents are home, make sure that he has a secret way to enter and escape. Try to bring him in once your parents are asleep, and be extremely quiet so that they don’t suspect anything. Keep the noise level down so you can listen for your parents voices or footsteps in case they’re walking toward your room. Be prepared to hide him under the bed or in a closet at a moment’s notice, or have him leave through the window if possible! Don’t leave any evidence that your boyfriend was there. Your parents will get suspicious if they see a men’s comb or a men’s jacket. If he gives you a gift (a note, a photo, a bouquet of flowers) don’t leave it out in the open!
Never close the door to your room. That just calls for your parents to get suspicious. Have a very open and casual “friendship” with him in front of your family so that they are not uncomfortable or second-guessing anything.
The longer you date this guy, the more likely your parents will be to find out. Your life will be much easier if you don’t have to sneak around. Consider whether your parents would be okay with it. Perhaps you’re projecting your own worries onto them. If you aren’t sure, ask a trustworthy sibling or relative for advice. If you think that it is just too soon to tell your parents about your new relationship, simply wait until you feel comfortable to share it with them.
Three months is usually a good period to get to know your boyfriend’s positives and negatives, and to figure out whether it is serious, or whether you won’t need to introduce him to your parents at all.
This can be a great way to “hide” your boyfriend in plain sight. You will need to be especially careful, however, not to let your parents interacting with him in a romantic way. Try to bring him around in groups, and don’t be too affectionate.
