“You’re so stupid!” “Go ahead and cry, crybaby. " “Let me do that for you. You wouldn’t understand it. " “That’s not how you say that word. Are you stupid?” “You’re so annoying! You’re just too much. " “You sound like a baby. Waah-waah-waah! That’s what you sound like. " “Shut the **** up!” “These kids are animals. "
A teacher should never yell at a student as a means of shaming or punishing them. Teachers should be mindful of students with sensory sensitivities. If they frequently yell despite it being overwhelming or painful to the student(s), or deliberately shout at students with sensory sensitivities, this is unacceptable.
Not allowing students to interact with non-disabled students Deliberately setting up students to fail Punishing students for harmless behavior (like rocking back and forth or fidgeting) Using excessively harsh punishments Not using positive reinforcement and/or ignoring any positive behavior Assuming behavior is pointless or attention-seeking without trying to discern the cause of it Disciplining disabled students more harshly than their non-disabled peers for the same behavior Punishing students for acting slow, sleepy, sensitive, sad, or sick Punishing students for disability symptoms (like punishing a child with Tourette syndrome for ticcing, punishing a child with ADHD for daydreaming, or punishing a child with epilepsy for “spacing out” during a minor seizure) Telling students to keep secrets
Blocking or restricting access to assistive technology, sensory tools, comfort objects, or other accessibility aids/coping mechanisms Not letting the child go to their in-school services (e. g. speech or occupational therapy, or mental health counseling) Not allowing the child breaks Forcing the student to do schoolwork or tasks that they’re not ready or capable of doing Attempting to remove services or accommodations without following the proper legal procedures[7] X Trustworthy Source Understood Nonprofit organization dedicated to resources and support to people with thinking differences, such as ADHD or dyslexia Go to source
Communication tools (such as PECS cards) being kept out of reach Tablets with communication apps being taken away if the student is “misbehaving” or “goofing off” Refusing to listen to forms of non-verbal communication, and only honoring spoken requests Refusing to spend time teaching nonverbal communication methods (such as picture cards or using a tablet) despite the parent/caregiver requesting this
“If you don’t stop, I’ll push you to the ground and choke you out. " “Put the toy away or you don’t get lunch. " “If you touch me, you will catch these hands. " “We did this together. If anyone finds out, you’ll go to jail, too. " “Bad students go in the naughty closet. Is that where you want to go?” “If you tell anyone what happened, you’ll get kicked out of this class. You won’t be able to see your friends anymore. "
Disabled students are more likely to be bullied than their non-disabled peers. [10] X Research source Special education teachers should be able to support and protect their students, especially those who have limited communication skills.
Physical injuries can come from other students as well. However, the school should take bullying seriously. Dismissing the injuries is not acceptable. It is possible for accidents to happen at school. If that is the case, the school should notify the parents, be completely transparent about what happened, and take steps to prevent future accidents if possible.
Ignoring or punishing a child for speaking up about an illness or injury Withholding a child’s prescribed medications (e. g. insulin or ADHD medication) Making an injured or physically disabled child do a task they can’t do (e. g. running on a sprained ankle) Refusing to let an unwell child see the nurse or go home when needed Punishing them for symptoms of illness (like curling up holding the stomach and closing their eyes due to the flu) Refusing or waiting a long time to call emergency services when something is terribly wrong, like a severe allergic reaction or a child passing out after being restrained
Are students able to get a snack if they’re hungry? Can students get a drink, or do they resort to behavior like trying to drink from a sink?[17] X Research source Are students able to use the restroom when they need it? If a student still uses diapers or has an accident, do they get changed as soon as possible? If a student needs assistance to eat, drink, or use the bathroom, do they get the help they need or are they left to do it on their own? Are students’ attempts to access food or drink seen as bad behavior instead of communicating a need? Is access to food, water, or the bathroom dependent on the child’s behavior or ability to speak?
Pushing, kicking, hitting, spanking, etc. Throwing objects at children or hitting them with objects Grabbing, dragging, wrestling, etc. Using “aversives” or “positive punishment” (forcing children to eat spicy food, spraying vinegar in the mouth, forcing students to touch textures they find gross or painful, etc. )
Using restraint as a first resort or punishment Use of mechanical restraints (e. g. handcuffs, straps on chairs, clothing designed to restrict movement) Restraining the child in a way that prevents communication (e. g. pinning the hands of a child who uses sign language) Medicating or drugging a student as a means of restraint Restraining a student for a long period of time Using forms of restraint that can compromise breathing (covering the nose and/or mouth, face-down/prone restraint, restraint on stomach, arms crossed in front of or behind body)[19] X Trustworthy Source EdBlogs Educational information provided by the US Department of Education. Go to source Failing to free and check on a child who has stopped struggling or is experiencing signs of medical distress Restraints being done by people with little or no training
Secluding a student as a first resort or punishment Rooms that are locked from the outside or held/barricaded shut Prison-like rooms with no calming activities (such as coloring books, fidget toys, puzzles, or stuffed animals) Unsafe objects or materials left in the room (e. g. sharp objects) Students being left in rooms with nobody monitoring them Seclusion used so often that it interferes with a student’s ability to learn[20] X Trustworthy Source Understood Nonprofit organization dedicated to resources and support to people with thinking differences, such as ADHD or dyslexia Go to source
Not honoring “no” or “stop” Brushing off or dismissing attempts to set boundaries (whether by teasing, mocking, or outright ignoring) Touching students in ways that they or their parent/guardian is uncomfortable with Initiating inappropriate physical contact, like hugs or kisses Sharing intimate life details with the student (such as talking in-depth about their relationship) Violating the student’s privacy (e. g. walking in on the student in the bathroom when they don’t need assistance) Texting, emailing, or otherwise contacting the student outside of school
Spending lots of time alone with the student (such as eating lunch together in the classroom), especially with the door closed Allowing the student to behave inappropriately Keeping secrets with the student Buying them presents that other students don’t receive, or that the student isn’t supposed to have
Being unusually focused on a student’s sexual development or dating life Making sexual jokes or comments to students, or within earshot of them Using unprofessional or sexualized terms to refer to body parts (e. g. “He was touching his dck”) Calling students sexual terms or insults (e. g. hot, sexy, stud, whre, slt, fggot)
Exposing themselves or another person to a student Making a student undress Encouraging sexual behavior, such as masturbation Showing students pornographic material, or leaving it where they can see Photographing a student nude and/or performing sexual acts
Using age-inappropriate terminology or expressions Coming home with ripped, stained, or bloody undergarments Unusual or inappropriate sexual knowledge or play Inappropriate sexual behavior with other people Difficulty walking, difficulty sitting, or signs of pain in the genitals or anus Signs of UTIs, yeast infections, sexually transmitted infections, or pregnancy Avoiding or feeling threatened by physical contact Resisting undressing
Making vague or confusing comments, like “I don’t want to go in the calm-down room” Pretending to be sick, or going to the nurse to skip class Physical illness (e. g. stomachache, headache, vomiting) that a doctor can’t find the cause of Saying the teacher will hurt them if they don’t behave Crying, hiding, clinging, or acting out when it is time to go to school
If a child is typically non-aggressive but you are getting reports of aggression at school, then something is seriously wrong at school. [34] X Research source Sometimes the child acts passive during school and has an after-school meltdown at home. While this sign of stress doesn’t always signal abuse, it does mean that the child may be having a hard time at school, so it’s worth investigating in case a teacher knows what’s going on. Excessive “acting out”, meltdowns, tantrums, or aggression can also be a sign that their services, accommodations, or behavior plans are not working for them, or are not being used enough. Every time an incident occurs, ask if the teachers were following your child’s behavior plan or accommodations. [35] X Trustworthy Source Understood Nonprofit organization dedicated to resources and support to people with thinking differences, such as ADHD or dyslexia Go to source
Acting rude, dismissive, or condescending (this behavior is often learned, and while it could be from other sources like a TV show, it could also be a sign that someone is treating the child this way) Repeating concerning or aggressive phrases Suddenly becoming averse to touch Developing repetitive behaviors or rituals, or increased/more agitated stimming (in children that already displayed repetitive behavior) Mimicking abuse in their play (e. g. “trapping” toys somewhere or “punishing” toys for being “bad”) Hoarding food or water Physically or sexually aggressive behavior with others
Withdrawing from social activities Changes in personality or behavior (such as becoming very passive or very aggressive) Changes in sleeping or eating Regression to “younger” behavior (such as bed-wetting) Reduced self-esteem Avoidance of adults Developing a stutter Attempts to run away Acting out Grades falling rapidly Self-harm or suicidal ideation
Calling the child names like “attention-seeking”, “naughty,” “unreasonable,” or “manipulative”[40] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Telling the parents to punish the child more harshly or be stricter as a “helpful suggestion” Telling the parents not to comfort or help the child when they are upset Berating the parents for being too kind or lenient with the child
For example, if the parent says “I can buy my child some fidget toys for school so that they stop ripping paper” and the teacher says “that’s ridiculous,” then that’s not a good sign. There’s no universal approach that works for teaching or supporting disabled students. A teacher shouldn’t immediately write off your suggestions or requests as “they wouldn’t work” or “your child isn’t ready/capable”.
Every day, ask what happened at school. (This also gives an opening for talking in general. ) If your child says their teacher is mean or doesn’t like them, ask why they think that. If you notice that your child is injured, ask what happened. Investigate if your child seems to be acting out of character, like being more quiet or aggressive than usual. (“You seem frustrated/quiet/scared - is something bothering you?”)
Write down or record anything your child tells you. Take pictures of any signs of physical abuse (bruises, ripped clothing, etc. ). Bring your child to the doctor immediately if you see signs of physical or sexual abuse. Watch your child for signs of depression, anxiety, or trauma. Save any emails with your child’s school. [45] X Trustworthy Source Understood Nonprofit organization dedicated to resources and support to people with thinking differences, such as ADHD or dyslexia Go to source Back up your evidence in multiple places so you don’t lose it.
“Malika seems to be scared of going to school. She’s been crying a lot before and after school, and resists getting in the car in the morning. Is there something happening at school that could be stressing her out?” “Ali said that whenever he asks for help, you tell him to figure it out himself. It embarrasses him and has been hurting his schoolwork. What do you see during the day?”
Ask to sit in the classroom and observe. (Do this multiple times - a teacher will have a harder time covering up bad or abusive behavior for more than just a day. )[48] X Research source Ask to review security footage of the room, if there is any. Put an audio recording device on a student’s clothing. [49] X Research source
Special education specialists, like your child’s case manager The principal The school board (if the principal doesn’t take appropriate action) Police or legal counsel (if there’s evidence of physical or sexual abuse, or if the school board fails to act)
