If you’re not comfortable trying some of these techniques in public, practice them in a mirror or film yourself until you feel a bit more comfortable. You could also practice with a good friend and get some feedback.
Pretend you are hanging from a string attached to the top of your head. [3] X Research source Try keeping your head from moving around anxiously by choosing a fixed point to look at. Focus on the point, rather than moving your head.
Keep your legs balanced even when you’re sitting. You’ll appear anxious if your legs are twisted around or tapping.
When sitting down, lean back in your chair. Use the armrests if they’re available. Stand with your legs shoulder-width apart and place your hands on your hips. Lean, don’t slouch, against walls. This will unconsciously make it appear as though you own the wall or room.
Remember the touch should be light. Too much pressure could come across as being too dominant as opposed to calm and confident.
Clasp your palms together behind your back or behind your head. Stick your hands in your pockets, but show your thumbs. Steeple your fingers together and rest your elbows on a table. This is a very assertive position, best used for negotiations, interviews, and meetings.
Use an open, relaxed palm in social contexts. A rigid palm or fist is very aggressive or dominant, typically used by politicians. Keep your elbows at your side. Gesture with your hands slightly to one side, to avoid blocking your body.
As a start, try to make eye contact with someone long enough to find out what color eyes the person has. [12] X Research source
If you get sweaty palms, keep a tissue in your pocket. Wipe your hand before you offer it. Never give a limp or “dead-fish handshake. " It can make you appear weak. [14] X Research source
When you slow down, your voice will also seem deeper. This can make you seem confident and in charge.
Laughter is another good way to display and boost confidence, when appropriate. Avoid a constant giggle, which can come across as nervous or overbearing.
On the other hand, accept compliments gracefully. When someone compliments you, smile and say “thank you. " Do not respond by putting yourself down, or downplaying your accomplishments (“It was nothing”).
Chances are, other people will learn to respect you and become inspired. People will also probably stop dragging you into dramatic or tense situations since they know you won’t become involved.
For example, you might ask your friend to be your audience or interviewer if you’re preparing for a presentation or interview. If you feel comfortable with it, invite the friend along to the presentation. This can help you by focusing your attention on your confidant, your friend, rather than the people in the room.
Spend time each day on your hygiene. Shower, brush your teeth, and apply deodorant as often as necessary. Wear clothes that you think make you look and feel good. Your self-confidence will get a boost if you wear clothes that put you at ease and make you feel comfortable.
Be honest with yourself and others. When people see that you are able to trust yourself and own up to your actions, they’ll like you more. They’ll also be more likely to trust and believe in you.
Once you’ve built up some confidence, try something you feel extra-anxious about. For many people, this may be asking a question in a large group, or admitting that you don’t know something.
Remind yourself of all the other times you succeeded. Everyone, no matter how confident or presentable they may be, makes mistakes. It is how you deal with them that really matters in the long run.
For example, you can include things like, “Proud I can play guitar,” “Proud that I am a rock climber,” “Proud that I can make my friends laugh when they are sad. ”
If you find yourself becoming anxious before an interview, for example, take five minutes before you go into the interview to try some of these stress management and confidence building techniques. Remind yourself you’re prepared and are being interviewed for a reason. Stretch your arms up high and wide, then hold them on your hips. Shake out your body a bit to loosen up and take a deep breath. Strongly exhale and remind yourself that you can do this.
Ask yourself, “What about this situation is making me nervous and fearful?” Maybe you are worried about sitting in the wrong seat at a nice dinner or you will say the wrong thing and you will be embarrassed.
What am I afraid of happening? Am I sure it will happen? How sure? Has it happened before? What was the end result of it happening before? What is the worst that could happen? What is the best thing that could happen (that I may miss out on if I don’t try)? Will this moment affect the rest of my life? Am I being realistic with my expectations and beliefs? If my friend were in my shoes, what advice would I give her?
This is called, “Diaphragmatic Breathing. ” Deep breathing can help you relax and reduce your anxiety. [23] X Research source
If you have persistent, nagging thoughts that are leading to anxiety, you may feel like you have no control. Meditating and mindfulness lets you acknowledge a persistent, nagging thought then let it go.
Though you may not be able to in the moment, write it down later. The point is that you do it and get to the source of your fear.
